Well I recently got to watch this movie and I must say that it was the biggest piece of trash in movie history. Before I go any further I would like to say that I would like to applaud Frank for making his dream come true and directing his own movie. Ok now that this is out of the way let the realness begin.
There were MANY bad things about this movie and I will only name a few. I will leave it up to you to agree (and in some cases add more) or disagree for whatever reason.
1. The plot..........what was it? I will quote movies.yahoo.com summary of the movie "Two shady businessmen flee to the Caymans to avoid federal prosecution, but their escape ignites a chain reaction that leads a British native to commit a crime that has enormous implications." Really? What was this crime? I assume this British native is Orlando Bloom aka Shy? He really had four parts in this movie. First he sleeps with a darky. Second he gets acid thrown in his face. Third he goes into hiding and as a homo encounter with his "best friend". Lastly he shoots the guy that threw the acid in his face......and the crowd are chanting "Oscar, Oscar Oscar" for his performance.
Plot....Bill Paxton moves to Cayman, his daughter falls for some guy with a piss poor Caymanian accent. They go to a party and get separated. She takes a draw of what seemed to be some seasoned weed. Goes into the bathroom only to have her privacy interrupted by some "gangsta" that wants to take a leak..... They leave the party and the guy gets arrested or booked for something (can't remember). Police hold the daughter and Sonjie takes guy to some well lit laundry mat where another police proceeds to beat him with a baton. Bill Paxton finds his daughter and at the same time finds out his "friend" has set him up (the suspense is awesome in this movie). Bill Paxton goes to jail and his daughter finds the money he's been laundering under her mattress (remember daddy loves you!!)
I think that about sums up the movie less the confusion that you will actually get when you do watch it. So I would suggest you take my summary and tell people you've seen it because you will hate yourself for wasting 98 minutes of your life.
2. The movie jumps around so much that if you dare not pay attention for a second you will be lost. Although now that I think about it, that was probably a marketing strategy. Make sure that when they spend their $10 they'll want to stay rather than leave. I swear to you they must have some soap opera subliminal messages that keep your attention because even while you are watching it you are wanting to pour acid in your eyes but something keeps you from doing so. Then you curse yourself for watching it.
3. How many times have you gone to a house party and found a man with a wicked clean jerk stand outside the gate?
How many times have you seen a gathering (non violent) in Windsor Park's playground?
How many times have you seen those two guys just riding around or walking wasting time in town............ok so that did hold some form of reality?
I've never in my life seen a car on blocks in front of our library, I'm sure you haven't either.
And since when is it bad luck to go fishing on Friday 13th?
There are just too many misconceptions in this movie. Correct me if I'm wrong (there have been times when I have been, but they are few and far between) but didn't the director say that he got of for the movie from his childhood experiences? Riiiiiiiiiiight, I can imagine the hardships of growing up on Maples Rd. I mean had it not been for those blocks (courtesy of Flowers Block factory) I'm sure he would've been hit from all of the random drive bys that happened there.
As I said before I'm happy for him making his dream come true and doing a movie but there is also a saying that says "if you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all". Give me the $300 it took to make this movie and I'll give you a Box Office smash. And for those who said it was a good movie.........may you hang from a tree with a noose made of barbed wire.
3 comments:
Oh my God that was funny! Haven was the biggest piece of crap I have ever seen. What i found even more discusting was how the actors tried to stand behind this load of garbage and I know full well that they didn't encounter anything on teh island like what they were portraying in the movie. But this movie could have been about any other island and had the same script and it still would have stunk to high heaven. Poor acting. Horrible script. The only thing good in this movie was the ending credits.
I don't totally agree with you, I didn't see bad acting, however, I did see a poor plot. And alot of people said the quality of the picture was poor, that is also a lie. Now alot of what was depicted in the movie was ficticious (like being able to get acid in school, the acid given in Chemistry is not highly acidic)but then alot of it was true also like people (kids) hurting each other senselessly and to the point of commiting murder, and the part with the police brutality, (i know for a fact, have had several family members experienced it) not to say that they weren't bad brutes that somewhat deserved it, but yea....it usually only makes matters worse...and you are wrong about the friday the 13th bit, alot of older caymanians are very superstitious as I am sure you are aware of Mr. KeepinitReal so I have to keep it real for you (no offense). All in all it was an okay movie, not as horrible as you stated.
I truly am disappointed and amazed by anyone be it Caymanian or expat who saw this movie and still lacked enough self dignity and any remote sign of intelligence to say ANYTHING in Haven was good. Frankie is much more HOLLYWOOD than he is Caymanian and he has joined the list of many so called "talented" directors from LA who excrete fecal matter to the masses and call it a film. Yeah so what he had the money to afford to make a movie. Many people wth the means do and some of them do a good job. When he makes one that is good, he will get the prasie he desevers. But Haven isn't deserving of anything but a Raspberry Award. Or lets keep it local and say a Coco Plum award. Haven was given horribly embarassing reiews YEARS before he brought it to Cayman to inflate his ego. No one was impressed but his "small island" friends. I watched that movie and saw what Frank E. Flowers really thought of his people. So it's time he know what some of us think of his ... um... "worK".
Like I said... Poor acting. Horrible script. The only thing good in this movie was the ending credits.
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